Liar, Liar Pants on Fire (Part 1)
Perhaps the most taken for granted value in a working relationship is trust. I am a very trusting person, and most Mid-westerners are as well. My philosophy has always been I will trust and like you until I have a reason not to. Yet this practice often gives great latitude in what some would think are serious violations of trust.
Trust can be damaged when you discover another has lied, deceived, withheld relevant information, acted or spoken hurtfully, or acted/spoken an opposite message.
Why do people act deceitfully? Lie, back stab, or act maliciously? My experience has been: 1) selfish ambition; 2) fear; or 3) insecurity – desperation.
I found this insightful article online regarding why people lie. In short people lie to promote themselves, to protect themselves, or to impact others (positively or negatively).
So, do you lie?
Everyone has lied and will lie again. My kids believed in Santa Claus because I told them he existed.
Does every lie violate trust?
No. Every lie does not need to violate trust. My kids and your kids still have trust even though there is no Santa Claus. The violation of trust that results from a lie is based on the motivation of the lie and the heart of the person lying.
Are there degrees of lies?
Yes. There are degrees of lies. If another is hurt by the lie it is more severe than if someone is not.
There have been times throughout my career and likely in your career as well, that you’ve been lied to, backstabbed, or otherwise had trust violated. It hurts, its confusing, it is angering…it evokes a wide array of less than positive emotions. So how do you deal? This will be discussed in Liar, Liar Pants on Fire (Part 2)… coming soon.